by Lynn Dancey Rudkin

Created on: September 05, 2010   Last Updated: October 09, 2010

Losing one treasured family member or friend can be emotionally draining: The grief that envelopes a person after losing several in a short time can plunge even the most sane person into deep despair.  Tears and the overwhelming hopelessness of feeling like you are all alone and life isn’t worth living, that nothing matters, take over your thoughts.

Knowing that people grow older and the natural progression is that they will die, or that other loved ones will succumb to debilitating diseases and illnesses, doesn’t make the reality of losing them easier to handle.   

Then comes the grief, which everyone handles in different ways.   There’s no checklist telling when to move to the next stage.  Some move on quickly, others have extended periods of emotional recovery.  Months pass, and holidays slide by with seemingly endless hopelessness.   That loving touch and smile are gone from your life.  Possibly loss of finances has added pressure. 

After experiencing several losses, my first realization was that I hadn’t quit grieving after first losing grandmother while dad was in the last stages of dying from lymphoma three months later.  Definitely the loss of my father was felt, thought I kept telling myself that he was no longer suffering and I was too involved taking care of mom’s emotional needs to think about my own.  A short four months later, an uncle died.   Then another uncle.  All had woven fabric of memories in my heart, and missing them every moment of every day took over.  Tears erupt at the most awkward moment.

Finally life evolved once more for a couple of years, then tragedy struck once again. After suffering from ovarian cancer for three months, my younger sister died.  Followed by losing a precious mother-in-law five months after that. Then a dearly loved aunt joined those who had gone before.  She was followed a half year later by mother, whose short battle with cancer led her to sing with the angels.  Then five months later, a cousin who had been more like a brother for my entire life.   Life seemed like one huge loss after another, leaving a void where once there had been love. 

The guilt: Why them instead of me?  Especially the younger sister who should have had so many years ahead of her.  The emotional devastation consumes the griever.

At some point, you have to let go of the grief and

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