by Helen Berrong

Created on: September 03, 2010

How to Write a Heartfelt Sympathy Letter

The first and foremost thing that should be considered is what the grieving person is going through.  It never hurts to stop and think how you would feel if the situation were reversed and the loss you are addressing is your own.

What you say will invariably be determined how you learned about the loss.  Were you personally present when the family member passed away?  Were you able to attend the visitation and/or the funeral or memorial service?  Were you out of town or for some other reason did not learn about the death until the visitation or the funeral services were over?

If you were personally present when the family member passed away you might wish to address the person to whom you are sending a sympathy letter as follows:  "I was thinking about you today and just wanted to let you know my thoughts are with you during these difficult days.  If you should need a helping hand, please do not hesitate to call me."

If you were personally able to attend the visitation and/or the funeral or memorial service, your sympathy letter could say something like this:  "I know that this is a time of reflection of what you have been through and you are possibly wondering what the days ahead hold for you.  I just want you to know that my thoughts are with you and I am here for you if you need me."

There are often times when tragedy strikes and we are not able to physically be present during someones time of crisis.  You would certainly want to send condolences as soon as possible.  Such a sympathy letter might be sent as follows:  "I learned of your loss while I was out of town (or whatever the circumstance might be) and I know this is a very difficult time for you.  My thoughts are with you.  Please know that I am deeply sorry that I could not be here for you; but, I want you to know that you are most welcome to call me if there is anything I can do to help you through you time of sorrow."

This type of letter should not be a lengthy one which rambles on about multiple things.  It just needs to be brief and to the point.  It is always comforting when others let you know they are there for you during your loss and grief.

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