by Julie Shannon

Created on: September 02, 2010

“And the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one toward another, and toward all men…”

Richard stood at the back of the church trying to suppress the racking bronchial cough that was seering through his chest.  Abound in love towards one another?  Where was that love? Was it coming from the teenager that had spat on him yesterday.  Or from the flint faced nurse at A&E.  He had gone to ask for help but had been turned away. ‘Your drinking is self inflicted’ she had said; ‘We have no beds for people like you.’  In anger and resentment he turned away and walked back to the graveyard that had been his home for the past few weeks and maybe the last place he would ever call home.  He had noticed the woman at the back of the church avidly listening to the gospel reading and crossing herself over and over again.   He had noticed the subtle look of distaste she had given him as she wrinkled her nose and turned away.    He stood with his back firmly pressed against the stone church wall and raised the bottle of cheap vodka to his lips.   Immediately the burning fluid caused him to gag and then to vomit, some of it going back into the bottle some getting caught in his matted beard.   Undeterred he raised the bottle to his lips again, his own disgust and shame forcing him to take another drink. As he slid down the wall he felt the warmth of his own urine and he closed his eyes and waited for peace.    He thought he felt the gentle touch of a woman’s hand against his cheek and money being thrust into his hand.   The first human touch for such a long time…  

When Janet king arrived home from church she immediately went to the bathroom and locked the door.  She was caught up in her compassion for the poor vagrant man she had seen in the churchyard.    She had wanted to reach out and help him but had felt so helpless.  The money had not been enough but surely some act of kindness was better than none. Nobody would ever know how well she understood his loneliness and fear.   In a strange way today she felt less alone. As she glanced at herself in the mirror the mocking voice that kept her prisoner laughed cynically ‘Who are you to feel better about yourself.    Who are you who dares to ask for a real relationship with someone who just loves you. Who

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