by Jennifer Gray

Created on: March 04, 2007   Last Updated: March 04, 2010

It has been the grand tradition that once we turn 18 years old, we are considered "grown up". However talk to any 18 year old and you'll quickly see that it takes a lot more then the right to vote to make you an adult. I am 32 years old, but only recently did I finally feel that I had transcended the bounds of childhood and finally joined the realm of the grown ups.

Sparing the long drawn out tale of how I finally came to leave my immaturity behind, let me just say that everything I have ever been through in life....good or bad...has always come with the obligatory "lesson". Many of which, in my childish oblivion, I let slip on by. Life however, has a sense of humor I found, and when you miss one important lesson, life is there like a pie in the face to make sure you get it the next time... and I did. I got the lessons, many times over and hopefully the benefit of my experience can teach others:

Lesson #1 - NOTHING GREAT EVER COMES EASY

Great Redwoods take hundreds of years to become the powerful behemoths of the forest they are destined to be. Even human beings start out as a couple of tiny cells. If everything in life came easy there would be nothing to work for, nothing to dream about achieving, and nothing to be proud of. The thrill of the fight is what keeps you going and keeps you strong.Like the proverbial tin front of the horse...striving for the prize makes you want it more and if you win, you appreciate the success in bolder ways. Put a horse in a room full of carrots and eventually, he won't have any interest.

Lesson #2 -  WHO YOU ARE IS WHO YOU WERE MEANT TO BE. IT'S OK IF YOU ARE NOT PERFECT.

The extra weight, the gray hairs, the fact that you don't earn 100K a year. So what? Would your life really be all that much happier if you were a supermodel or a millionaire? Many people say yes, but think about this...no ones life is problem free and there is no such thing as perfection. If you were a beauty or extremely handsome you might be physically more attractive but would that make you a better person? Millionaires may have everything... but with all that comes a whole new set of problems. How would you ever really know if people cared about you or the money? Also, once you have everything, what fun is life? I'd gladly take my big butt, gray hair strands, and past due bills as long as I can share my life with the people I love and laugh along the way. Believe me, that is the closest to perfection anyone can be.

Lesson #3 - ANGER IS LIKE CANCER AND JUST AS DEADLY...LET IT GO.

I spent many years being mad at one person or another. My mother, my father, friends....many hurtful words passed but nothing was ever resolved. I couldn't get them to see things my way, they couldn't get me to see things their way. The only thing that grew out of all that was bitterness, until I made a strong realization. Either I had to learn to love people as they were, with all their faults, and if I couldn't do that, I had to put them out of my life forever. It's not always easy, but I have found that acceptance and forgiveness is much less painful then holding on to a fiery poison ball of anger. Do we always agree? No way! But now, even in disagreement the love is there so the anger doesn't fester.

I could go on and on about the things I have learned in my 32 years. As I get older I look forward to learning more. Each lesson I learn turns me into a better person and truly, isn't that the underlying lesson for us all? How to be the best person we can.

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