HUMOR: The top ten warning signs that you're about to get fired are:

1. Your boss catches you sleeping at your desk ... in your pajamas.
2. You ask for a raise ... every day.
3. To your boss, you graphically describe a very, fat ugly woman visitor waiting to see him, and she turns out to be the boss' wife.
4. To your boss' wife, you graphically describe a very sexy, blonde visitor waiting to see your boss, and she turns out to be his mistress.
5. You turn in a dishonest expense account record that is twice as high as your boss' own dishonest expense account record.
6. You get drunk during the office Christmas party and use a roll of toilet paper to decorate ... your boss.
7. When your boss reprimands you, you politely tell him that his mother and father were never married because they were first cousins.
8. You shave your head, get tattooed, come to work wearing adult diapers and demand that the company pay for your rehab.
9. When the boss is alone with his sexy new secretary for an hour with his door closed, listen closely for strange sounds. Then, when the sounds get the loudest, gather all the employees together and rush into his office, shouting, "Surprise!"
10. Tell your boss that if you work real hard, someday you'll be qualified to take over his job. Then, tell him to clean out his desk, because that day is tomorrow.

Learn more about this author, Ted Sherman.
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