by Caroline Sumner

Created on: August 27, 2010   Last Updated: August 28, 2010

Here’s the thing about proposals: they rarely go exactly as planned. You picture it in your head over and over – getting down on one knee, saying the perfect words, pulling out the ring – but something is probably going to go amiss. That isn’t to say it will go wrong (things like forgetting to bring the ring happen pretty rarely), but it will probably be a little different than you have been imagining it. If you are planning to take this big step and ask the woman you love to marry you, there are a few things you may wish to keep in mind:

• Wait until you are ready

So you want to propose on Christmas Eve, but when Christmas Eve rolls around, you find that you don’t feel ready. Wait. It will mean more to both of you if you wait a while and propose when you are calmer and more collected than if you rush into it and have a panic attack later.

• Don’t make it obvious

If you are not a wine-and-dine kind of couple, taking her out to a fancy restaurant and ordering an expensive bottle of champagne will take away from the surprise of the proposal – which is often half the fun. Besides, you don’t want the magic of the moment ruined when you see the check. Take her somewhere you both love, preferably somewhere sentimental, and pop the question there instead.

• Don’t write a script

It’s tempting, but planning what you want to say too far in advance and then reciting it by rote is anything but romantic. Instead, just come up with a couple of things you wish to say and just let the rest flow. Or don’t say anything at all – my fiance did a silent proposal, kneeling by the Christmas tree, and his smile did all the talking (and I said yes, so I’m proof that it works)!

• Remember what it is all about

If you spend too much time panicking about exactly where to go, what to wear, what to say, and how to say it, you will lose sight of why you are doing this. Though a proposal is important, it is not about the way you propose, but it is about the fact that you propose at all. Just remember how much you love her and how much you want her to be your wife, and the rest will come naturally.

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