by Paula Stahl

Created on: March 03, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

Mr Car has a security system. That is my car. I name all my cars and I named this one occording to the fact that I have not felt on a first name basis with him.

I never had to worry about a security system with Ollie. ( my previous car) As a matter of fact I dont think
I had to worry much about anyone stealing Ollie. ( he wouldn;t have ran for them...I just know it).

But, Mr Car has an alarm. The first day I heard it was when I took Mr Car to get tires. The mechanic set it off, and could not get
it to shut off. He called me over.
I of course had no clue. Everyone in the garage was yelling " press the remote!".
But Mr Car has no remote. He only has a key, and a security system, that it seems ...only Mr Car understands.
Several of us climbed all over in and out of Mr Car the day he was getting tires, pushing buttons and turning switches, and finally the
thing stopped bleeping. Who knows who pushed which button that made it stop.

Then, in the parking lot at the grocers one day it went off again. My young son thought it was halarious at first , and I thought he was pushing buttons to set it off.
But after pushing and turning and switching again....I still dont know which thing I did that finally made the thing shut off.

Yes, I have read the manual.
Yes, I have followed it step by step. NO, it does not shut Mr Car up. I have decided that he is paranoid, and maybe schetzophrenic....and every now and then something frightens him and he yells and screams for help. This of course, makes me look like a daft and helpless female who knows not a thing about vehicles.
Mr Car may be laughing when its over too. Perhaps he is Passive Agressive, not paranoid.

Today, after little league ball we went to get into Mr Car, and when I touched the door the alarm sounded. People immediately started starring and laughing.
I got in the car with the alarm going off, and pushed every button and turned every switch. But the alarm kept sounding. I got the book, and read through it step by step, and did exactly as directed. The alarm would stop, and then as if by some invisable que, start again for no reason. I was at one point standing 10 feet away from it, and it started again. I am not kidding.
People of course began shouting..." push your remote!" I dont have a remote.
That seems to be the story of my life. When I encounter and obstical, people begin coaching me on the simple things I can do to solve it. Like...if there was a simple thing I would not do it without them telling me to. But, as with

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