by Norma Budden

Created on: August 24, 2010

Speaking solely from the perspective of a person who has witnessed the effects of suicide more times than I would care to remember, I cannot fathom suicide being a justifiable action.

I've attended a few funerals of suicide victims throughout the years; I have never heard of one incident in which a friend or family member felt at peace with the decision that had been made. Those funerals were the most painful to attend because everyone experienced the tragic sense of loss - of life having ended too soon.

Even after the funeral and burial, there is a great level of sorrow which lingers in the eyes of those left behind - those mourning the loss of a sibling, child, parent, friend and so on.

I've seen the pain; I've felt the pain. I've held people as they sobbed over the loss of a brother or sister, as they tried their best to compose themselves but lost the battle completely.

I've heard "what if" and "if only" more times than I can count - people living with regret or feeling remorse for something beyond their control - a prison which endures and doesn't seem to fade despite the passing of time.

Suicide robs everyone - those who've committed the act and those left behind. Suicide victims felt no hope existed and those left behind struggle to cope with another day - with no sign of peace and joy anywhere in sight - feeling a sense of despair and hopelessness settling in because, as much as they would like to bring a loved one back, they can't.

Admittedly, I grew up believing that I would never go through any situation in life which God and I couldn't handle together; I hold true to that premise even today.

I've lived through situations in my life that I can honestly say some people may never have survived - horrendous despicable situations which makes my soul cringe at the mere memory. I would have given almost anything not to deal with those situations; I surely did not want to endure them and would have taken any reasonable "out" offered.

However, suicide was never an option. I knew that, some day, I would look back on a given experience and see it as an area of personal growth - that, having undergone the ordeal, I would come out stronger when all was said and done. Thankfully, I've proved it to be true every time.

Some people, however, don't have such a level of faith and it's easy to become persuaded that there is no hope in sight -that there never will be. As such, they sometimes give up - sometimes without even the subtlest of warnings.

Shock, guilt, regret, shame, fear, turmoil, frustration, sorrow - these are only a few of the emotions people suffer after losing a loved one to suicide - and there is no way I could personally justify any action which brings forth such tragic emotions.

I try my best to bring peace and joy to others; I could never justify an action which detrimentally upsets the core of another person.

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