by Kimberly Davis

Created on: August 23, 2010

When you are participating in the dating game, it can be a fun and happy experience. You share stories, laughs, intimate moments, likes and dislikes, all in the name of getting to know one another and deciding if there is a future for the two of you. But dating is not all wine and roses. There are always little quirks that can bug you, or disagreements to be had. So what makes the relationship healthy or unhealthy?

The biggest health factor in any relationship is: respect. With it, a relationship can flourish, happiness can be found, both partners supporting and caring for the other. Without it, the relationship becomes one sided, the partner without respect for the other disconnects, feels less inclined to participate positively in the relationship.

And why should they? They don’t respect you, so why should they do anything to help you, or be kind to you, or stay faithful to you. You become somehow less in their eyes. Less worthy of their affection and attention, their love, even their time.

All of these actions can leave you feeling diminished and unworthy if you’re not careful. It can be the smallest words and actions from your partner that, over time, eat away at your mental health.

So how can you recognize when your partner is being disrespectful? There are many ways. There are, of course, the obvious signs of physical abuse and controlling behavior. Should this exist in your relationship, there is no respect and the situation is dangerous. That’s your cue to get out. And then there’s the unfortunate, yet common, occurrence of infidelity. But what about the subtle disrespectful behaviors?

First off, all couples have their arguments, sometimes raising their voices to be heard over the other, but the fight remains about the initial disagreement, or whatever was originally bothering you. When there is no respect, your partner will resort to angry name calling, and change the direction of the argument to throw in hurtful slanders about you: things you’ve done that irritate them that have no bearing on the original disagreement, or worse, make up hurtful accusations just to upset you.

Another disrespectful behavior is making jokes at your expense. In today’s society, we all have something “funny” to say about ourselves and our friends. Sarcasm and “slamming” one another has become the thing to do with reference to humor. And it’s all well and good until your feelings are hurt.

A disrespectful

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