by Lee VanAmee

Created on: August 23, 2010   Last Updated: August 24, 2010

Jealousy has no positive motivations and brings on insecurity faster than you can blink an eye. 

Jealousy can ruin relationships and it starts by insidiously eating away at your number one relationship; with yourself. If you are constantly angry and feeling like someone else is always one up on you in any part of your life, it is too hard to have a good self image and self esteem. If you get a temporary good feeling that you are better than others for the moment; it will only last a short time and you will quickly find out something else is there to compete about and the cycle starts all over. The enemy voice in your mind is always cutting you down and telling you that you and what you do are not good enough again. That is when your insecurities come in and seal the deal by reminding you of all of your mistakes and faults instead of your accomplishments and successes. It is a vicious cycle that can only be stopped by a lot of hard work on retraining your brain to stop automatically going to these thoughts and actions. 

Even if it is just semantics there is a difference in envy and jealousy. We are in a much more grounded mind space when we see something that we want in life and then figure out an open and honest way to either get that carrot or we may choose that the effort required is too much and we can let it go. The insecurity in us is not required because if we are in control of our actions and thoughts and behaviors we do not have to feel bad about ourselves or drag ourselves through the gutter so to speak. Often times, when people realize how much they have to give up purchasing something or having different relationships or jobs; they realize the passion they have for this item or event is not as strong as they thought. The cost outweighs the value. But, with jealousy you never get to that balanced thought process, it is like a treadmill that just keeps you going faster and faster; but you never reach your destination. 

It is very difficult to see reality clearly if you are a jealous person. You will color every situation with a negative spin because you cannot be happy until you get the prize you covet or until a person changes who they are or until hundred other unrealistic and imaginary scenes play out for you. This is why insecurity goes hand in hand with jealousy; because the work together so well, and both are completely unrealistic. So, watch out for an unbalanced approach to your competitive endeavors; winning being everything, crushing the opponent, not having any conscience in your actions, being very unhappy on the inside most of the time, and being very lonely even though you keep getting all that you wanted.

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