by Amelia Randall

Created on: August 21, 2010   Last Updated: August 23, 2010

Insecurity issues are caused by our past experiences or those experiences that people close to us have had to deal with. We feel that the experience was not necessary and not nice and we start to build a protective cover around ourselves, to stop ourselves from ever feeling like that again, or feeling like our close friend/family member felt. These insecurities can be caused by many things. Some people will find they can not get in a serious relationship, due to the arguments and upset they witnessed from their own parents while growing up. Lets face it a lot of couples stay together for the sake of kids, but it actually does not help the kids, it causes them issues as they get older and enter into relationships. Some people can feel the reverse, they feel the need to only be in a serious relationship and anything less than that is frowned upon, due to their parent having a string of open relationships and maybe not really enjoying the life they chose.

It is all too easy for parents, grandparents, aunties and uncles to speak freely about their issues it one another over a cup of coffee, while the children play, not realising that the children are listening and though may not understand yet, will get to understand in the future when they grow up.

insecurities can also be gained from older friends as you are growing up, you listen to what they are like with their partners and when things go wrong a few times we start to get frustrated and wonder whether this is the same in most relationships.

We can also get into a relationship ourselves and throw all we have into it, feeling like this is something special. We may plan our whole future together, see ourselves getting old together and all the family loving how into each other you seem. Then one day, something goes wrong and you are no longer a couple, suddenly you are left with near to nothing and feeling very low. You promise yourself to never be so stupid again. When you finally decide you are ready for another relationship, you start to put up your guard, maybe not even realise it at first, but gradually you start to question things and you have built up something negative, rather than being calm and taking things as they come.

Insecurities can rip a relationship to shreds and hurt all those in it, we really all should be more mindful of how each individual is different and therefore each relationship different.

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