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When you want a relationship but you are 'just friends'

by Mepersoner

Created on: March 03, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

It is a very common scenario that when someone falls for someone else, be it completely or just a small crush at first, that person will make the mistake of befriending that person in hopes it will lead to more. This is wrong, and ineffectual. If both parties are aware that one wants more than just friendship and the other does not, it is wrong for both parties to continue the friendship. The person who wants more is referred to as an intellectual whore - IW, and the one who only wants friendship is referred to as an intellectual pimp - IP. These terms may seem derogatory, but will be explained. These terms originate in the satire website, The Ladder Theory. [1]

An IP [2] is a person who is more or less being selfish. This person may just want friendship from the IW, but knows that the IW wants more. However, since the IW is intellectually stimulating the IP wishes to keep the IP around. Often, the IP will claim s/he (these terms originated with the woman being the IP, and the man being the IW, and are more accurate this way) doesn't want to hurt the IW, and that is why they are remaining friends. However, remaining friends just leads to more hurt. Stopping contact will allow the IW to move on to others and get over the IP, possibly lead into some meaningful relationships. However, as it stands with the IP leading on the IW (even if the IP is clear it is just a friendship, engaging in friendship with someone who the IP knows wants more than just friendship will ultimately just harm the person and is leading the person on) the IW will just be continually hurt and be stuck with on the IP, leading to nowhere for the IW. This is selfish of the IP who is not keeping the IW around as to not hurt the IW (who is getting hurt), but to boost his or her own ego, to be intellectually stimulated, to feel wanted, etc. without giving these feelings back. Often, this is because the IP is not satisfied with his or her SO, who is an Outlaw Biker (someone who is not emotionally satisfying, but the person is attractive because of their bad image - think rebellious teenage boy all the teenage girls want or about that jerk you know that always seems to pick up the girls) [4].

An IW is someone who has feelings for another person, but the feelings are not returned. The term IW comes from the idea that whores are women who are being used for their bodies, while an IW is someoen who is being used for his or her intellect, emotions, etc. Often, an IW is deceiful at the start of a friendship,

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