by Carmel Brulez

Created on: August 20, 2010   Last Updated: March 17, 2011

There must be lots of good things about dating a single mum, but the article asks for pitfalls, so pitfalls you shall get.  The main pitfalls to dating a single mum are...

*  She may often be too busy to see you, because she has arranged to spend time with her children, or she prefers to spend time with them.   If she does not know you that well and you do not have an established relationship with her she will probably put her children first, either because she feels they need her or because she prefers to spend her time with them and take her new romance less seriously than her family life.

*  When the children are ill you must be prepared for her to be busy with them and if she is not with them to be concerned about them, either wanting to phone and see how they are, or going home early or visiting them while things are not right.

*  Even if she adores you and loves being with you, there will be times when she cannot afford or get a babysitter and will either say she has to stay at home with the child or ask you to stay in with her and the child.

*  Single moms are often unemployed.  That usually means they do not have a lot of money, so they will either need you to pay for them when you go out together or help with bills.  It also means that until the children are a good age, she might always have to or feel she needs to be at home with them, so you might be the only breadwinner who needs to bring in quite a lot of money, to look after her and another man's children.   If you are unemployed or in a lowly paid job she might reject you totally or you might have a struggle providing.

*  If you get serious about a single mom you would not just be moving in with her but with any children she has too.  You may think she is fantastic but her children might be noisy nasty brats!  Do you really envisage a possible future with her when that is how the future might pan out?

* Single moms usually worry about their futures more as they need to think about how they will fair and how their children will fair in the future. She may only be interested in a serious relationship or marriage and not be at all interested in anything that is on the basis of play it by ear or casual.  You can get a lot more free advice on this subject at agony aunt.

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