by Dawn R. Babcook

Created on: August 17, 2010   Last Updated: August 18, 2010

I personally do believe that you should be able to express your inner fantasies with your significant other and to act upon some of them, as they do bring a thrill or adventure to your relationship.  Me and my significant other have both shared our fantasies with each other and some of which we have acted upon.  Thus only the ones in which we are both comfortable.  I do however, not believe that if one of the partners has a fantasy that they know the other is against fulfilling, that it should be immediately dropped as it can and will cause more turmoil than it will good. 

A friend of mine talked with me about her and her husbands fantasies and wanted my opinion on what she should do.  I explained that if they are both comfortable with one or all of them that they should indulge themselves as it will bring a bit of spice to their marriage of 12 years.  She emphasized that her and her husband had discussed them regularly but that he continually talks about his fantasy of being the center of attention with 2 women.  My friend is totally against that, which is completely fine but she is concerned as it seems to be the most important fantasy to her husband and that she gets the impression that he will never be completely fulfilled without experiencing such a fantasy.  Thus being why I state that some fantasies should remain just that, a fantasy.  Don't continually bring it up if you know that your significant other is not open to such an act.  He or she is now aware of it, not comfortable with it thus you should not continually bring it up.

Now, a fantasy that my partner and I both agreed would be exciting was a bit of role-playing but on top of that we would videotape it in action.  I was thrilled but on the other hand a bit unsure as the thought of anyone seeing the tape frightened me.  But I trust my partner and know that the tape would never under any circumstances be shared with anyone else, so I went with it.   Wow, that was an exciting night.  We have since videotaped our role-plays a total of 3 different times and periodically when the children are gone, sit down and watch the tape together and ironically we critic ourselves on what happened and what we think we should try the next time.

It is all a matter of personal opinion on what you do and don't do and as I stated before, talking openly is healthy but be considerate of your partners feelings on certain situations so as not to ruin or add undo stress to your relationship.

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