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No one knew the demons you faced on a daily basis, every waking hour they tormented you, whispered their hate and loathing in your ear with out ceasing. No one knew that these demons had names and faces, names difficult to pronounce and faces so frightening even the greatest horror writer could not imagine them. Day in day out their taunting would go on unseen by those looking on but so real to you. They had been part of your life since you were sixteen, one day everything was fine the next day their they were legions of them all trying to be heard at the same time. You spent hours everyday trying to work out why they had appeared, what had you done to deserve this, why you and why would they not go away.

As my God father you kept this hidden, no one suspected anything, you seemed happy, confident, full of fun and life yet as soon as you were alone even for a moment they would rush in putting you down, telling you how worthless you were, scum, that you would be better off dead, for thirty nine years this had been your reality and to you it was very real, frighteningly real.
As a kid when you came to see us you would ring the door bell and when we answered you would greet us with a huge beam and the words jelly-bow-lee to you which still makes me smile. I never new what that meant. As a Godfather you were what every child hopes for, you would spend time with us, me and my sisters, hours on your knees helping us build with Lego, always interested in what we had been up to. Now I understand that these times took you back to the time they where not there, a time when you you free and for those brief hours you found some relief.
Your wife knew all to well about the demons, she coped on what seemed like her own for years trying to get you to go to a doctor, seek some help which you always refused in fear of being locked away put in a straight jacket, losing contact with the only ones in which you found relief. She coped for years but then one day snapped and left and we never saw her again nor you I now understand.
Some how and in some way you had to try and blot them out, drugs seemed to make them worse, more real, but alcohol seemed to block out part of them, numb the harshness of their words, yes they were still there but at times you could laugh at them, with them, even agree with what they were saying. I guess that is why we no longer saw you! The alcohol addiction had taken over and you lost your job, your home, everything really the prophecy of the demons was

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