by just another voice

Created on: August 12, 2010

Pacing back and forth in the hallway outside room 111, I could feel knots forming in my stomach.  One, two, three, four steps.  Turn around and take those same steps in the other direction.  I must have repeated this  one hundred times, all the while thinking, planning, trying to figure out how to say what I needed to say.  Not only didn't the solution come, it seemed to become more elusive as my stomach tightened and my head began hurting.

I'd stop every now and then to look into the room as if some answer would magically appear in the window on the wooden door.  Of course it didn't.  The only things I could see were the unmade bed with it's disheveled sheets and off-centered pillow and a straight back chair that was still holding the purse and raincoat I had sat on it an hour or so ago.  I looked in as I passed each time, anyway, though nothing changed at all.

Today started out like any normal day.  I went to work, got off, went home, showered and changed.  The plan was to meet  Mitch for dinner at our favorite spot.  We had been seeing each other for some time now and two days ago, he proposed.  I was shocked.  It wasn't that I didn't love him and want to be his wife, I was just a little upset at the way he had asked.  He invited me to his house for an at-home movie and when I got there, fifteen of our friends jumped out of hiding placed and shouted  "Will You Marry Mitch?!".  I couldn't believe every one else knew before me.   I told Mitch I needed a few days to think about it.  I'm supposed to give him my answer today.

I arrived at the dinner spot and waited  for Mitch to get there.  He never showed.  As I drove home seething, trying to decide how to tell him we were through, my cell phone rang.  It was Mitch's sister saying he had been in a terrible accident and may not make it.  I got here as soon as I could but he's still in surgery.

This may be my last chance to tell him I love him and to say "YES".

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