by Gene Patterson

Created on: August 12, 2010   Last Updated: September 27, 2011

It sucks to be shy.  Trust me, once upon a time I was there.  The gnawing fear in the pit of your stomach.  The sweaty palms.  The utter and absolute fear of rejection.  Yup, I have been there!  Having a fear to even approach women, but knowing if you got the chance and were comfortable you could likely do well.  Fearing even the vague

idea of a first date.

I understand. 

These days I do well with women and a lot of that has to do with having built my confidence.  Of course some of the best way to build confidence is through success.  Ultimately the only way to succeed is to get out there and do it.

♦  Try to build confidence from nothing:  Learning to make a mountain out of a molehill.

I do not expect you to suddenly be confident.  That won’t happen.  If there was a way to take the "blue" pill and suddenly have maximum confidence I know thousands of guys that would do it.

You do need to try your best to seem confident though.  Basically you need to,“Fake it ‘til you make it”.   Look people in the eye.  Make an attempt to scan the room around confidently.  Keep a positive body posture.    Study people that you think seem to be confident and do thing to emulate their actions.  Know inside yourself that you CAN attract women.  The funny thing is, that if you do it enough, one day you wake up and find out that suddenly, you are confident.  All you need to do is push through your fear of rejection and get to the point where you attract women naturally.

♦  How to approach women if you lack confidence.

Approaching women directly can be a disaster if you are incredibly shy.   You will feel very awkward and this will likely be clear to her.  It is best try and go up to her and initiate a conversation.  This should be neutral topic.  Do not even think to yourself that you are trying to pick her up.  Just go up to her and chat like you would to a friend.  The secret here is to try and be as comfortable as you can.  The worst part is always the initial approach.  Once you start that a conversation it will get easier. 

♦  Once things are going smoothly, then you can worry about trying to get her number or see if you can get a date.

The important thing to remember is that confidence will come in time.  Few people were born confident.  You begin to achieve success and confidence follow.  Once you have done it a while it becomes "old hat" and no longer scary.  You can do it, believe in yourself.

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