by Awe Busuyi Rapheal

Created on: August 12, 2010   Last Updated: August 19, 2010

Losing a loved one is an aspect of life that nobody wants to face because it comes with extreme emotional pain and anguish as well as devastating psychological trauma. Most people find it very overwhelming and often times cannot move on with life because it is such a tragic experience. Though it takes a lot of energy to cope with, one must get over it so as to live a normal life again.

Bereavement may have different effects on different people, depending on how close or strong the relationship is between the bereaved and the lost one. When someone dies, many people are affected and in most cases the most grief-stricken are the closest relatives because the deceased is so important a part of their life that they cannot imagine his loss. But no matter how important the person is to you, you have to move on. The following coping strategies will guide you through the recovery process.

*You should know that any helpful method for coping with death comes in stages. The first stage is the stage of denial when the tragic news hits you and you can not believe the death of your loved one because it is quite unthinkable. At the second stage, grief creeps in after which you find yourself going through an intense feeling of downheartedness. But the most important stage is the stage of acceptance where you finally accept the loss and let go of the gloomy feeling. Dealing with death lies in your ability to endure through the processes to this final stage. You need to realize that what has happened has happened.

*You also need to surround yourself with people who are experienced in dealing with death, perhaps from older family members or friends who have lost someone at one time or the other, to speed up the grieving process and to work through the downheartedness. Most people in such a situation usually keep to themselves, withdrawing from family and friends and wallowing endlessly in grief. Being and feeling alone will not help the matter, it only worsens and deepens your grief. With the comforting hands of understanding friends and relatives, your journey on the path of recovery will be made smoother. Externalize your feelings, rather than internalize them, by telling them to those around you. They will surely understand them and console you. They can also run errands for you and attend to visiting sympathizers.

* Do not try to repress or bottle up your tears. Crying is very important in the healing process. Many sympathizers may try to persuade the bereaved not to cry, but what they should do is listen and make sure the crying is not for too long. One of the ways you can let off painful steam is crying, so you need understanding people around you who can understand your ordeal and comfort you when you cry out the grief.

*Foster good memories instead of wallowing in the painful thought of the dead. Think of the great moments you have shared with the person. You may feel that this will make things worse because you just do not want to remember the passing one anymore. But stifling the thought is simply unrealistic as you will always find yourself remembering the person. But it will help a lot to channel your thought in a positive direction. You can talk about how funny the person was, how creative, how wise and so on. Some people even have a celebration of life to acknowledge a life well-spent and help themselves heal faster.

In conclusion, you may think that the healing hands of time will eventually dispel your grief, but what really matters is the amount of work you do to rid yourself of sadness. If you attend joyful occasions like birthdays and wedding ceremonies and still remain sorrowful, then something is wrong.

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