by Writing Gal.

Created on: August 11, 2010

When a couple decides to get a divorce, it can be very traumatic for the children involved. There is a lot of sadness, anger and confusion. Most often, children do not understand why mom and dad have decided to split. They take the blame for the situation upon themselves. Their grades can change, their attitudes can change and they stop caring about things that were once important to them. It’s important that you show you are there to support and listen to your child.

Stay positive – When you are happy and have a good outlook on things, it will show to your children. They can see how things are. This will help them stay positive. Keep the peace – It may be hard sometimes, but it is important to stay civil with your ex. When you fight, your children pick up on the anger. This in turn creates anger in them. Never put your children in the middle – There are times during a divorce when the parents may have a disagreement. If this does happen, never make your child choose between mom and dad. This can be very hard for them. Listen – Everybody handles situations differently, even children. They may have questions and concerns about what is going on around them, but too scared to speak up. Make sure that you take time to sit down with your children and listen to them. Have stability – Creating a routine and providing stability gives children something to look forward to. Keeping to your schedule provides children with activities that they are familiar with. When their home life is changing, it helps to keep activities that give them comfort. Be honest – Your kids will most likely ask questions about the divorce and why it is happening. They deserve to know the truth. If you lie to them it could have repercussions. First off, your child may think that you didn’t trust that they were smart enough to understand. Secondly, they won’t trust you if you are caught in a lie. They do not need to hear all the tiny details though. Give them a simple explanation, such as, “We don’t get along anymore.” Do not talk bad – When talking to your children, remember that the person you divorced is still their mother/father. They still love, care and respect both of their parents. Be careful not to say anything bad about the other person. You wouldn’t want your children to think badly of you, so watch what is said.

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