by Writing Gal.

Created on: August 10, 2010   Last Updated: August 12, 2010

I only knew the volatile side of anger. I was the target receiving periodic eruptions with heated rocks raining down on my life. Constantly I was running trying to find shelter; my mom, friends, relatives but no one could see the pain inside. Having the model of explosive anger my primary experience I did not have the tools for appropriate anger management.

If anger is an emotion that I am to feel and release, how do I do this in a proper way without causing harm? In this article we will look at activities that can be used to aid anger management.

When adults use appropriate anger techniques they model this behavior for their children or others in their family circle. It is not easy to retrain an old habit and releasing anger in harmful ways is a habit. A habit that is learned. Whether it was learned by what you saw as a child or simply because you have no model for proper release of emotions. It has become a habit and now is the time to change the habit of releasing anger through inappropriate means.

Group Activities

Group activities are a great way to learn better ways to deal with anger. During these activities you will learn how to replace your aggressive behavior with assertive words and actions. Usually these groups are led by a social worker or licensed therapist. Group sizes vary from 3or 4 to larger. Being in a room with others who struggle with the same issues you do, helps in identifying and changing the behavior.

Coping Skills

Coping skills are designed to keep you focused on the moment when you feel the anger rising. Sometimes the anger is just there like a bomb. This is where coping skills help you manage your anger. By identifying ways you notice your anger starting, also known as triggers, you can begin using your new learned skill before the actual violent expression is released. One skill is to go to your freezer and pull out an ice cube or other frozen item and hold it until you are calm. The ice acts like a shock to your system bringing your senses back to the present moment. You then can react in a calm way and discuss what brought the angry emotion to the surface.

Meditation

When you read that word did you automatically think of sitting with your legs crossed on the floor chanting? That is one method of meditation, another is taking deep breaths and releasing focusing all your energy on your breathing. You can repeat words such as, with each inhale think or say the word “calm” and with every exhale think or say “release anger” or whatever emotion is bringing up anger. Do this a few times and increase the amount each day.

Exercise

Not enough can be said about exercising to release the often physical emotion of anger. Go for a run, lift weights, do anything that increases your heart rate and takes effort to complete. In other words, sweat until you can sweat no longer.

Time Out

This may sound childish, but the idea is to remove yourself from the room or person that may be the target of your anger or possible trigger. Learn to say, “I need space we'll talk about this in 10 minutes” or whatever time frame works for you.

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