by Cleveland Dingle

Created on: August 10, 2010   Last Updated: August 12, 2010

I am a victim of child abuse by my father. He used to beat me so bad when I was a child, that if it was today - he would have long gone to jail. I was a little child back then, today I am a father of five beautiful children, and I made it my business to be the total opposite of my father. Disciplining children does not come with a manual, unfortunately, for the children if they have the kind of parent(s) like my father, the children suffer. Admit it, just because you have children it doesn't mean that you know everything about life, especially raising children. Also, if you are an adult that never grasped the concept that "learning" is a "life-time experience" you will really be a terrible parent to your children. How can anyone that is ignorant to the degree, that they aren't even willing to educate themselves so they can be a better person, educate anyone else, let alone children? That's like hiring the cake lady from the neighborhood to be a public school teacher, because you think she's a sweet lady because she bakes cakes. Exactly, it doesn't make sense, does it?

My father never took the time to learn how to be a father, sadly my father's father was a real man. Granddad raised five boys by himself! My granddad never put his hands on my grandmother, but my dad did it to my mom. Granddaddy, never abused his children verbally, but my dad did. Granddaddy, never beat his kids senseless, but my dad did. How do I know? My granddaddy was our savior. My dad didn't want the responsibility of raising five children. My mom was often left alone to deal with five kids, until my grandmother (fathers mother) moved in with us; plus my granddaddy who was a New York City yellow cab driver with Mayoral honors would come by with food and money for us. Where was my father? Who the hell knows? I came in this world with several special gifts that a loving father could have nurtured in his son. I spent so many years learning about life and going through so, so, so, much that I didn't have time to wish for him when mommy got rid of his ass.

Things we were going through in life at a very young age forced me to think to myself, "I gotta help mommy take care of our family." I didn't know how to be a man so I had to learn from "Good Times" on t.v. I also learned from the streets what I believed a man should be. I was too busy trying to be better from a young age once my father was gone, that I just didn't have the time to re-live the child abuse I went through as I got older. The memories

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