by Writing Gal.

Created on: August 10, 2010

Parents with defiant children are strong and resilient. They are filled with love and are exhausted. They feel insane at the behavior and release tears of joy when there is a break through. Raising defiant children to be successful is not easy; it is possible.

It is often difficult to know why your child is being defiant. Is it their age, do they have a problem with their peers, what is their self-esteem like, are they going through puberty, is there a medical reason? These questions and multitude of others run through the parents mind as they struggle to find the right combination to deal with a defiant child. You will often hear parents say that they think their child is the only one that acts this way or that. They feel isolated in raising their defiant child. These emotions occur whether you are a two-parent household, single-parent household, or another type. Defiant child = exhaustion and frustration.

RESPITE

Taking time for yourself is the first and most important thing you can do for the health of your defiant child and self. I know, you may be saying, “Are you crazy, I can't leave him/her alone with anyone. How am I supposed to find the time ...” These questions are very important, however, the bottom line is taking time to rest, to get away from the situation, to rejuvenate.

If you have friends or family support and they are willing to care for your defiant child, do not hesitate to call them. If you this support is not available, look within the community for respite services. Do not feel guilty about this. If you do not take care of yourself, who will take care of your child?

EDUCATION

Educate yourself with the types of defiant behavior and specific parenting techniques. The same skills used to raise a child without issues will not be effective for the defiant child. They have an entire different way of seeing and reacting to the world. Learn which of the four parenting styles; authoritarian, permissive, authoritative, and uninvolved you use. Learning these parenting styles and where you are now and where you want to be will also help you as you navigate the defiant child waters.

SUPPORT

Look into community support and testing for your child. If there is a medical reason for the behavior it is important to diagnosis and treat. This alone will not instantly change a chaotic home to a peaceful one; it is a step in the direction of peace and success.

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