by L Young

Created on: August 08, 2010   Last Updated: August 10, 2010

For a woman who is trying to conceive, miscarriage is a tremendous loss, regardless of how far along you were. It is not only the loss of a very precious and longed for life, but also of your hopes and dreams.  For most people miscarriage is a single tragic event. Having miscarried once, or even twice, does not affect your chances at another healthy pregnancy. Even so, it can be hard to believe that, and not dread losing another one. This is likely to especially difficult around the same gestational age as the previous loss. Once you can pass that milestone, things do get easier.

For the very small minority who have miscarried repeatedly, it is very difficult to relax and enjoy a pregnancy. I have 3 children (one grown) from 13 pregnancies. I found I was never able to completely relax, even after the cause of my losses was found and treated. I knew I was no longer at higher risk as I was on a very effective treatment programme, but it can be hard to rely on logic at times like this. I must stress again though, repeat miscarriages are unusual. I do not want to add worry for anyone.

My advice is geared more to those who have miscarried repeatedly, but also applies to anyone who is still especially frightened after even one miscarriage. No amount of experts telling you to relax can ever totally take away that niggling fear, and it is better to get help then spend your pregnancy terrified. Pregnancy is such a precious time, I believe everything possible should be done to help mothers experience joy, not fear.

What you can do:

Express your fears to your Doctor or midwife. Of course for most women they are likely to reassure you that a previous miscarriage does not increase your risk, but that does not mean your fears should be ignored. If it would help you to relax, ask for early scans, even repeat scans for those who have had multiple losses. Many women will feel more secure if they can have a scan shortly after the gestational age of a previous loss. Some women find scans more stressful though, and you should do what makes you feel most comfortable. You should also discuss early on what the procedure will be if you should experience anything unusual. I personally would insist on finding a Dr that would be willing to offer reassurance if a problem should arise. My own doctor was kind enough to say if I should be frightened for any reason at all just to come in, better an unnecessary scan or check with doppler, than to be terrified all night. A supportive

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