by Hanna M. Jagow

Created on: August 08, 2010

The path from Sigmund Freud's theory to the modern-day "family systems therapy"  has taken many turns, but the most important one is the notion that whatever an individual is experiencing is entwined with his or her family's issues.  The definition of "family" has changed so that now single parents with children, two women or two men parenting a child or children, and occasionally older siblings or grandparents parenting youngsters are all considered a family unit.

In the 70's a book called I'm OK, You're OK, by Thomas A. Harris, M.D., made "relational" therapy history by suggesting that within each of us is a parent, an adult and a child.  When we relate to others we do so from one of these internal states.  The parent may be critical or nurturing, the adult is the facilitator, and the child may be demanding and immature, or playful.  "Transactional Analysis" helped folks sort out the character of the relationship by analyzing specific "transactions" between two people.

For example, a critical parent (often that voice inside our head that tells us we are not okay) will elicit the wounded child in the other person, and the fight is on.  Understanding that we are being "hooked" by another person to respond in a way that is not productive can alleviate relational conflict by giving both a chance to examine the unspoken messages being sent and received, so that they can work on being adults and negotiate a reasonable solution to differences.

The jump from analyzing these internal states and how they relate easily grew to looking at entire families as biological formations made up of two or more units.  When a therapist works with the family to help change their dynamics, each person in that family becomes a team member.  If one person is struggling and causing distress to the entire family, they will not feel the heat as much if all are involved in the treatment process as well as the changes being made, and shame and blame disappear.

As therapists continued to learn more about helping families, several major theorists emerged.  Some leaned towards particular theories, others blazed new trails.  Regardless of their theoretical base, those working with families often report seeing desirable changes quickly, with less expense, and with less angst for family members in the long run.  Instead of seeing a child or teen  so he or she can be "fixed," the therapist will engage as many individuals as possible in ongoing sessions.  This has the dual benefit of taking the one needing fixing off the hot seat, and treating the whole system so that each person involved is held accountable for their part of the dissonance felt by all.  When such a system starts to move toward helth, all benefit, and many times things that are not even the focus of treatment will change for the better.

Since the first experiments of people working with entire families, more and more counselors are specializing in "Marriage and Family" therapy, a way of helping families that is effective, fast, and produces long-term change for all family members.  In our day of limited time and money available for treatment, it is for many families the most sensible choice.

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