by Eugene Teslya

Created on: August 07, 2010

Argument is an inevitable attribute of our day-to-day lives. Unless you are a monk who lives a secluded life on top of a mountain – you will interact with other people and - it is just a matter of time - one of these interactions will turn into discussion and then into argument. At home or in the office, over the project details or where to go for a family vacation, sooner or later you will be involved in some sort of argument.

An argument is a discussion of two or more parties with different opinions. Originally, it did not have a negative connotation; arguments are neither good nor bad. It is the heated arguments, discussions that went out of control, lost the focus and became emotionally charged – these sorts of encounters had earned arguments its reputation.

To keep control and stay calm when provoked by an abrasive argument you may try one of the following techniques.

Awareness
Realize that some people, situations or topics get on your nerves. Be aware of your “hot buttons” and if possible protect them from over-exposure.
If you and your in-laws root for different candidates during a presidential campaign – it is probably safer to avoid politics altogether. However, often you find yourself in the middle of the conversation impossible to avoid. In this case, awareness of your reaction to certain annoyance will help you keep control in the situation. Realize the moment when your emotions are triggered and continue to maintain a “cool head” by separating boiling emotions from the main course of the argument.

Do not interrupt
True - it takes two to tango. It also takes two to argue! It is not pleasant when your opponent does not maintain a professional and civil conversation. But things get really ugly when both parties are guilty of throwing dirty punches. Solution – let your opponents speak off everything that bothers them. Uninterrupted. You may feel the urge to defend yourself or correct some facts – don’t! At this point saying anything is the same as putting the fire down by pouring the gas in. Remember, only because you listen to the nonsense – it does not mean that you are indeed agreeing to the charges. Simply allow the opponent to let the hot air out – it naturally cools people down, chances are - this will be the end of the confrontation. Many people just want to share the frustration and aren’t particularly looking for any explanation or the solution.
Letting your opponent to

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