by Ruth Scalpone

Created on: August 04, 2010

It is not always easy for someone to treat others as they wish to be treated because they don’t necessarily know the person they’re dealing with.  If the other person reacts negatively to them, that person might have had a bad day, have ongoing medical problems, or financial concerns.  Parent/child issues, other concerns, or a host of other distractions may fill their mind.  The other person also may not have any interest in treating them or anybody else well.   

Changes in society, such as the crime rate, may have caused a woman to change her public behavior.  She might cross the street when she sees a man or group of men approaching, leave an elevator when she is alone with a man she does not know, and not answer the door when a stranger rings the doorbell. Though many people wish things were back to the times when everybody supposedly always left their front doors unlocked (which seems frighteningly unsafe to people today), women and men expect things to be different now.

A world where everybody treats others with civility and courtesy would be more pleasant.  Even simple things, like saying “please” and “thank you”, smooth paths to relationships.  Treating other people as they wish to be treated is not easy, especially when disagreements arise.  That is when it is most important to do so, though, to prevent arguments.  Arguments can lead to physical fights, law enforcement being called, and sometimes even arrests of the people involved.  Is winning an argument worth spending time in prison?

For people to listen to each other, the first person should set a good example and listen to the others first.  That means listening to their points of view without interruptions or arguments.  Keeping debating roles, such as giving reasons they support or oppose something, can help maintain serenity.  Even if the other person responds angrily or contemptuously, they can continue to be calm and rational. 

Courtesy, which used to be known as common, is not taught to everybody now.   Despite what the so-called “Women’s Libbers” said in the 1960s, a man holding a door open for a woman, or helping her carry bags of groceries or luggage is not sexist.  It shows that he has manners.  Abruptly refusing his offer to help and calling him names is rude and not at all courteous.  A woman might help another woman or a man in the same way.  

Treating others as you wish to be treated is not always easy to do.  However, it makes communications and relations with other people much better than treating them the exact same way as they treat you.

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