by Lenna Gonya

Created on: August 04, 2010

Since I shop a lot at supermarkets and Wal-Mart, a couple of hours a week are spent in line, leaning on my cart, biding my time. A lot of things can go through your mind during those boring, tedious hours, and I discovered that some of them aren’t too kind.

First of all, I wonder why the cashier is 84 years old. I mean, I am all for non discriminatory hiring, but she is moving slower with each article that passes by, and I think she dozed off once. I wonder why she is telling the first person in line her entire life story, and I hope this isn’t a recurring habit of hers with every customer.

I wonder why the girl in front of me, who is obviously a size 18 is wearing size 10 stretch pants, and if she has ever seen a full length mirror. I also wonder why she has a tattoo of a large spider on her back. I really hope that’s a tattoo.

I wonder why the young couple in front of the girl with the spider have four kids under the age of five, and are still buying nothing but junk food, and using food stamps.

I wonder why the lady in front of the young couple has 53 coupons, most of which have expired, and what a woman of 70 needs with three bottles of wine, French bread, and a lobster.

When all else fails I look at the “impulse items” on the rack next to me, and try to guess what some of the items are, and if there is anything there that I should have. I wonder why anyone would need lip balm that came in a pop bottle shape, and tastes like cola, and then I wonder if it really does.

Given the time, I begin to wonder if I really need any of the things in my cart, apart from the toilet tissue, and the milk, and the seasonal place mats with matching napkins, and the wrinkle reducing moisturizing cream.

Fortunately, just as the spider girl edges toward the cashier, I realize that the sweet old lady is no longer telling her life story, and I wonder why. I wonder if she’s not feeling well.

30 minutes later, when it’s my turn to get through the line, I wonder why I bought the cola flavored lip gloss and the mini car flashlight with the built in laser pointer. I also wonder where I parked my car.

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