by Kelly Christel

Created on: July 31, 2010

Humor:  Giving birth

When you are experiencing your first child birth, there is nothing funny about it.  The things that happen during childbirth are, at that time, a new experience which you face with more fear and lack of knowledge.   The story is not funny during your experience, but it can can be, looking back at it years (even days) later.

My pregnancy back in 1991 was normal.  As the due date grew near, we envisioned our new baby, and waited with great expectation!  The doctors visits were weekly at that point in the pregnancy.  She suggested walks to begin the birthing process.  Each night, after dinner, my husband and I would walk our dog around the neighborhood, sharing thoughts of what was to come.  My husband was so thrilled at the thought of having his "own little quarterback", yet, we did not know the sex of our child.  I couldn't care less.  I couldn't see my feet, no longer had a waist, was getting sick of stretchy pants and had boobs the size of two watermelons.

At 39 weeks along, after our nightly walk.  I felt a little tired, and a lot crabby.  I turned around and started walking back home because I had to sit down.  Something was happening.  Small cramps here, a little zap there, but nothing that I'd watched movies about or no pain that made me stop in my tracks.  My husband and I went to bed and at 3:00 am, I started to be very aware that the pain was getting stronger, longer and closer together.  It wasn't long before I knew it was time to get to the hospital.  These pains were getting a little stronger and I am a wimp, so I knew it was time to go.  "Where are the keys?", my sweet husband asked.  "I don't know."  I remained calm, yet gave him "the look" and his eyes wide open, he began running around the house, looking here and there, dashing into and out of that room.  I sat there, watching him run around in a sweat, suitcase at my feet and said, "check your pocket."  "Oh."  Okay, let's go.

The bumps I felt going over the potholes in Buffalo, New York felt like someone was throwing me around in a dryer.  My husband, driving as if I were about to go into labor within seconds, drove safely at a mere 90 miles per hour.  I kept reminding him to slow down but this was our first time experiencing child birth, and a new car, so really, giving birth in the car was not an option to him.  The

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