by Ted Sherman

Created on: March 02, 2007   Last Updated: May 09, 2007

HUMOR: I hope this sacrilegious essay won't offend Christians as much as the outlandish hypothesis of the Discovery Channel broadcast, "The Lost Tomb of Jesus". The Cameron grave-discovery team claims that ... as in "The Da Vinci Code ... Jesus married Mary Magdalene and they had a son named Judah. Therefore, for the sake of another hypothesis, let's suppose the story is true. Here are some possible scenarios:

1. Jesus brings Mary Magdalene to meet his mother, Saint Mary, to introduce the streetwalker as his intended bride. Can you imagine the reaction of that Jewish mother? "You want to marry HER? A woman like THAT? How could you? Son, if you've seen lamenting before, just stick around and you'll see world-class lamenting!"
2. When Jesus' son Judah goes to school and the kids, as kids will do, brag about their parents, what can Judah say? "My dad is better than your dad. He can raise the dead, heal the sick, walk on water and turn water into wine." And if that isn't enough to brag about, Judah can add, "My grandpa up in Heaven can do all that and much more!" What other kid could top that?
3. When his teacher asks Judah what his parents do, maybe he says, "My dad's an unemployed carpenter and my mom's an ex-streetwalker." Or he may add that his dad is into cross-training.
4. When Jesus tells wife Mary he's going to preach to the multitudes, she complains, "There you go again. Out with the 12 guys all the time, going to banquets to make wine and hosting last suppers. You never take me any place any more. And that time up on the mountain, when you miraculously handed out all those loaves and fishes to the masses. Not one little piece of bread or bit of pickled herring did you bring home for supper!"

No disrespect intended, but if the tomb raiders are right, then why not suppose any family happenings are possible?

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