by Dawn Marcotte

Created on: July 29, 2010   Last Updated: July 30, 2010

SEX! - So many parents have a hard time talking to their children about this sensitive subject. There are a lot of resources available to help students learn about the mechanics of this intimate act. Some schools provide instruction on puberty and body changes, without going into details of the actual physical act. Other schools will also educate students on how babies are made without speaking to any of the moral or emotional issues. Parents need to determine what their children know and fill in the gaps.

Physical Intimacy

Many parents are embarrassed to talk to their child about sex. However, it is important to ensure that each child is aware of their own bodies and the basics of physical intimacy. If you are simply unable to talk to your child you may enlist the help of the school nurse or the child's doctor for the basics. There are also booklets available, the most widely used is probably the one by Dear Abby.The child may also have received this information at school. Speak to their teacher and get a copy of the curriculum to review. They may already know more than you think. When they ask questions, at any age, give them age appropriate answers. My oldest daughter wanted to know how babies got in mommies tummy when she was about 7 and was satisfied with the answer that daddies put them there. I didn't have to elaborate at that age. Now that she is 11 she knows how daddy put the baby there and was horrified to realize that HER parents actually did that. It may actually be easier to speak to the child before she really becomes interested at an emotional level.

Teaching About Consequences

Tweens need to understand that sex can have dire consequences. Girls can get pregnant and anyone can get a sexually transmitted disease. Children this age often think they are immune to bad outcomes so it is vital that  they learn about what can happen. If possible expose them through a volunteer program to other children their age who have become pregnant. It is difficult to make children this age understand that some of their choices now can effect the rest of their lives but hearing the same message from several different sources such as teachers, doctors and parents will help drive the message home.

Personal Experience

Tweens are at an age where their bodies are changing and their world is expanding. They may begin to have 'feelings' for others that they are not sure how to handle. Talk frequently with your child about their friends to monitor any shifts in attitudes.

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