by Terungwa Akaahan

Created on: July 29, 2010

The greatest task on earth is the task of raising children and ensuring that they are successful and follow the ideal and proper course for them. This is the greatest task because it is a programming task that sadly enough, no computers are involved. The task of Bill Gates is relatively easier because he deals with lifeless machines and cold statistics. But programming human being? Every factor is a variable as development coupled with uncertainty is the norm. And the bad news: you have to programme for between eighteen (18) to twenty one (21) years or even more! It is doubtful if Bill ever took that long to come up with Windows. Unfortunately, most parents simply get it all wrong, even from the start.

Teens are radically different in their very nature whether they are born as twins or by women from different continents. These differences span from temperament to personality traits down to the ordinary like and dislike of individuals. This is particularly where most parents score a flat zero. When they advise (or more aptly, command), they use a standardized procedure they have ‘manufactured’ for all their children irrespective of their individual differences. Well, it may go well for Susie who is an introvert. But will Sam (an incurable extrovert) find your ‘policies’ funny?

Second, most parents use the parenting style they themselves were ‘victims’ of. This is particularly true of those in the armed forces or Para-military organizations. The common thought here is that ‘if it was good for me, it is certainly good for them’. Nothing can be more false than that. The situations and circumstances of the second half of the twentieth century are radically different from the opportunities and chances of the twenty first. It is thus completely out of place to think as a parent that because your parents shouted on you (in the name of advice) and you complied, the same should produce the same effect on your teens. Parents, thus, are largely guilty of failing to change with the times. They fail to recognize too that the babe they once held in their arms is now well past the statutory age of majority. Once a parent thinks of his child as a babe of nineteen years back (not a teen of nineteen today), trouble is on the way and to accept advice becomes harder on the teen’s part. Would you accept one from a party that treats you like a suckling? Doubt exists.

Third, a large part of taking advice from parent involves the

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