by Janelle Skinner

Created on: March 02, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

The only thing happening to your child is that they are growing up and trying to stand on their own. My daughter is 15, and she is a beautiful, intelligent and healthy teenager. She chooses to wear gothic clothes and have tattoos, a nose piercing, listens to ear blasting rock music and hip-hop,and skates on her many skateboards.

This all sounds a little drastic when I look at the typed words, but I have been there through the whole process. Her tattoo's were the hardest for me to accept but she chose them. They are small and can be easily covered up, they are not satanic symbols, but expressions of who she is past the gothic look. I know some parents are reading this and shaking their heads, thinking what a bad mother you are. Let me say this, I have never claimed to be the best mom in the world, but I want to keep my kids safe, all five of them.

In our really small community there are several wanna be tattooist that have scarred many children, and the law does nothing to curb them. I took my daughter to a professional tattooist, where I knew she would not get a disease or infection from dirty needles and would not scar her for life.

She also has pink and blue streaks in her hair, she did this on her own at the local mall. She goes to school everyday dressed in this fashion. Her school is one big building that houses kindergarten through 12th grade. There are only 200+ students in the whole building. She is the only who does this.

I have had to deal with the school board and principal many times, defending my daughter's right to be different. To borrow the words from her: I do not want to be a plastic (someone that changes who they are on the outside to be like someone who is popular just to fit in)I am myself. She is not doing this to be like Marlyn Manson, or any other entertainment icon.

To defend my daughter, she makes straight A's, does not start fights, walks away from it if she can, and has never been in any trouble outside of the constant hassling from the school advisor's themselves.

I feel that if my daughter can go through this everyday, and walk away with the same attitude that she went in with, she will make it through life. She has the inner strength and intelligence to accomplish everything she wants. Oh, and by the way, she is already making plans to attend college and has talked with several recruiters from top schools and plans to visit some this summer.

When you child comes home and questions you with: can I get these clothes, this haircut, this piercing, this tattoo?. Just try to keep an open mind and remember what it was like when you tried to spread your wings and fly. I am not saying that the choices that my daughter and I have made are for everyone, but you have to let children experiment with self discovery. That is the only way they can see for themselves that the choices they make have a big impact on their lives. If they can stand the scrutiny of their peers, and still walk tall, then you have raised a interesting if not gifted child.

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