by Dawn Marcotte

Created on: July 26, 2010   Last Updated: July 27, 2010

What is a Tween? According to the 20th century jargon a tween is a child who is between the ages of 10 and 13. While not yet a teenager, children this age are able to understand consequences and to plan a bit further ahead. Many children this age are entering middle school or Junior High were additional opportunities are available. These opportunities may include sports, the arts or even travel abroad. Planning for financial goals, academic goals and personal goals at this age will provide each child with lifelong skills.

GOALS

Divide goals into short term and long term. Short-term goals should be achieved in less than a year. Long-term goals may be 5 or even 10 years away and require multiple steps to achieve. Short-term goals include getting a good grade in a class or even on a specific test. A long-term goal may be to begin saving for the purchase of a car when the child is 16. Have at least one academic, one financial and one personal goal. This variety will allow the student to learn about finances and to grow personally.  Encourage the child to come up with their own goals and discuss why they are important to him or her. If the student presents a goal that you feel is unrealistic discuss how they plan to achieve the goal. Sometimes the best way to learn how to set goals is by failing to reach one. 

Some goals may be determined by family values. Graduating from high school and attending college may be an expectation from the parents, but the student may not have any idea how to achieve it. Help the student set short-term goals that will lead to a long-term result. A tween in middle school will have many opportunities to participate in extracurricular activities. Participation in sports or the arts may lead to a scholarship for college. A short-term goal of participating in one sport per year may lead the student to discover a talent they didn't know they had and therefore get a scholarship.  Part of setting goals to is to work toward a reward once the goal is achieved.

REWARDS

Some rewards are part of achieving the goal itself. A goal of going to college is rewarded by receiving an acceptance letter into a college. Other goals, such as getting a good grade, may require some additional reward. Money is often the first thought for a reward, but consider some alternatives. A special day spent with a friend, a trip to a local event or even a day without being bothered by a sibling can be useful rewards for tweens.

Rewards should always be positive and specific to the child's interest. One tween may want to add texting privileges to a cell phone, while another is interested in some new music downloads for their MP3 player. A student who is successful in a sport may want to upgrade their equipment or attend a pro game for that sport. Rewards do not need to be used only when a child has achieved a specific goal. Use rewards to 'catch' the child in good behavior. Often tweens will experiment with new behaviors as they navigate the new social landscape at school. Some behaviors, such as swearing, are not positive and may even require punishment. Some behaviors such as showing responsibility, honesty or integrity should be rewarded. Something as simple as a specific verbal statement can be powerful reward. Tell them, "I was really impressed with how you included that new kid on the team."

Helping children this age to set their own goals and achieve them will not only enable the student to learn this skill for use as an adult, but can open communication channels that will be there when the child enters the teen years.

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