by Elaine M. Doxie

Created on: July 25, 2010

I sit now in a beautiful home, surrounded by beautiful things.  I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful child living with me in this home.  My life now could only be improved were my other four children to be here as well so that I could truly share with them what I have, and have them appreciate it.  I wasn't always so lucky as I am now, however.  There was a time that I lived in abject poverty, beyond which I thought I would ever know.

I was married at the tender age of 19, to a very domineering man.  We lived with my parents for the first six years of our marriage, and through the births of our first three children.  My husband rarely worked during these years.  He may take an odd job here and there, but most of his energy went into finding get-rich quick schemes, none of which worked.  Every year, I set the goal of moving out of my parent's home, to no avail, because he didn't want to move out.  Finally, my parents became ill enough that my brothers and sisters intervened, forcing us to get out on our own.  Although I am grateful to them now, I was angry at the time, because I was left without a home.

We did manage to find a place to live, although we still used my parent's money to get it.  After we had used my parent's money to pay the first six months rent, we used his mother's money to support us through that time.  She gave us $7000, that was used up within 6 months.  After that, he had taken advantage of everyone that he could for the time being and we were left with nothing.  He was never very good with money, and I didn't know how to say no to him.  He had to have all the latest computer equipment even if it meant sacrificing food for the family.  I stretched every dollar I could, but I ran out of dollars to stretch, thanks to his spending. 

By that Christmas, we were officially broke.  We didn't have a dime in our bank account.  We didn't have food in our house.  I felt alienated from my family because they had kicked us out of my parents house, as well as guilty for having stayed so long.  He still wasn't working.  He would go to job interviews and come back stating that they didn't pay well enough.  I wanted to scream at him and say that something is better than nothing because we had three children to feed, but I didn't.  Our heat went out in the middle of the cold winter, followed by the power.  We had no Christmas that year because we didn't have any money.  Fortunately, some friends played Secret Santa for our children, otherwise they would have had no gifts.  We were in abject poverty.

The following year, I went to work for minimum wage and eventually, he went to work because he didn't want me to show him up.  It still took me several years before I decided to divorce this man and marry the wonderful man that I'm married to now.  Sometimes I'm grateful for those difficult years that I spent with my ex-husband because it just makes me appreciate what I have now all that much more.  It's been a long time since I've known poverty such as that, and I hope I won't ever have to again.  I do know, however, that I could survive it, just like I did before.  I also know, however, that my current husband will bend over backwards to keep me from ever having to live like that again.

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