by B. Leslie Baird

Created on: July 24, 2010   Last Updated: August 03, 2010

If being a parent is one of the most difficult jobs most people undertake then single parenthood should be impossible, but it is not. Finding time for yourself as a single parent can be very difficult but there are ways that it can be done and it can be healthy for both you and your children.

If you have family or another type of support group make use of them. While you do not want to always saddle your mother, father, sister or friend with your children you do need some time away for the sake of your sanity. Children also benefit from time spent with other quality caregivers and they learn that they do not always have to be with you. Even if your amount of me time is limited find a way to just go to the grocery by yourself. Take a few extra minutes to enjoy a cup of coffee all by yourself.

Many single parents do not have family or friends nearby to allow themselves to take me time. Even in this situation there are ways to find those few minutes that you truly need to yourself. In good weather take some time in your yard by yourself while your children are occupied safely nearby. A sandbox can safely occupy children while you get a little time to clear your mind. Take them to a park where you can watch them from a distance while you enjoy just a bit of peace and quiet. You do not always have to provide the entertainment.

With very young children insist on their having some sort of nap time. This is not just for the sake of their health it is for yours as well. Your children may not actually nap but you can insist that they stay in their room in bed. They will eventually cooperate. While you can not leave them while they nap you can take that time to read a bit of a good book. Use the time to call a friend or better yet just sit quietly and let your mind be free. Do not use your me time for cleaning, it can wait.

As your children get older enroll them in after school activities or groups. These types of activities do not have to be expensive but they give you an opportunity for me time while your children are safely occupied without you. At night after all the other endless work is done take a long relaxing bath. This can be almost impossible with very young children but once they are old enough to understand it is time let them know there are times that you need quiet.

The younger your children the more scarce your me time can be but you need to find some. Feeling overwhelmed is an understatement at best. Do not feel guilty for making time for yourself; you are not “Superman” or superwoman. As your children get older me time becomes much easier, sometimes to a point of wondering if your children even really need you. It is all part of the process and you can make it work.

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