by Kris Kennedy

Created on: July 24, 2010

Shyness and Active Social Life

How can someone get to know you if you do not speak, but is quietness truly a personality weakness?  How many times have overly talkative individuals bored a group? Maybe both of these traits could lessen an individual's social life. If shyness brings on the quietness than maybe, it could harm an active social life.

To speak or not to speak

Humans frequently are uncomfortable during periods of silence and attempt to fill the empty space with conversation. A shy person may not be able to fill the quiet time with anything because of fear. It is the fear and not the quietness that harms the shy person. A person who does not like to speak unless he or she has something to say will have something to offer to end the silence. This person does not want to speak unless it is important and during the uncomfortable silence desires to fill the time with something the quiet person values. A shy person would worry about the reaction of the other people.

A quiet person frequently lets others know more about themselves by when he or she chooses to speak than the others who speak every thought off the top of the head. At many meetings, a controversy gets resolved when the quiet person speaks. The discussion goes round and round, but when the quiet person speaks it changes. The others listen because it is the comment from the person who has been listening. A shy person might sits through the discussion and the resolution probably in a state of fear of conflict. The other people failed to get to know the shy person and do not know whether to include the person in future activities.

Overcoming shyness

The fact that a quiet person may or may not be shy, the first step for the shy person is to move to become more like a quiet person. The shy person may never be the most talkative person in the room but can think about the quiet times and what he or she wants to share. This sharing can develop knowledge about interests so others will know when to offer invitations.

A shy person can learn to handle the fear that controversy or social occasions causes and realize to take a few minutes to relax in situations with others and observe. Realize there is a purpose for his her inclusion in the group. When he or she observes and sees a choice for their involvement, he or she can interact. After a while, the perceptions changes from shy and quiet. He or she will contribute how and when he or she desires rather than remain quiet out of fear.

Shyness prevents people from getting to know her. Through working towards quietness, a shy person can learn to enter social situations.

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