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Raising 'drama queen' daughters

by Jay Morgetron

Created on: March 02, 2007   Last Updated: May 20, 2007

I bet when you brought your little bundle of joy home you had no idea you were escorting royalty.

I have a little four-year-old drama queen at home too. She is *so* emotional and, I tell ya, it's just her personality. She was born with the drama gene.

I have another child who deals with day-to-day occurrences much better - again - her personality. She was born with the sarcasm gene.

How these two children both sprung forth from the same womb still mystifies me.

I do think being dramatic at age four is pretty normal. Consider this - we, as adults, have bad days. We just (usually) deal with it better because we've learned coping skills. Little drama queens haven't learned these skills quite yet.

But, it's not time to panic now, mom and dad - there is hope. My little one is slowly maturing and the drama isn't quite so ... striking anymore. It's subtler and usually only surfaces on "bad" days. (Every day used to be a big drama day for us, from about two and half to three and a half.) When I say "bad" days, I refer to the negative side of having a drama queen in your life. This includes temper tantrums, rudeness, and oversensitivity.

Just bear with your queen and don't let her manipulate you. (That's what drama is usually designed to do - think about this - it's soooo true.) If it's not a big deal to you - if she doesn't get the good reaction from you, it won't be as "fun" or effective for her.

On the flipside of living with drama it can be highly entertaining and on some level should even be encouraged. By all means, attend her tea parties, enjoy her interpretation of the "The Three Little Pigs," become the evil stepmother in "Cinderella," and dance that "Cha-Cha Slide" 18 times in a row. Your little drama mama will be happy and you will appreciate her personality more if you are directly involved in positively shaping it.

And you can interact with the drama without being manipulated, and while still having fun. When our four-year-old says something like, "I can't walk! My legs hurt!" I tell her she's fine, very casually. Then when she responds with, "Do you WANT MY LEGS TO FALL OFF?" I say something to the effect of, "Well, I'll help you carry your legs if they do happen to fall off." Then she walks, grumbling a little, but knowing that no one is going to carry her healthy four-year-old bod around...

Write down these dramatics in a journal and reminisce when she's older. Buy her a bushel of roses when she does finally make her stage debut.

Believe it or not, being the drama queen's mama can be fun.

Learn more about this author, Jay Morgetron.
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