by Jessica Helms

Created on: July 23, 2010

It can be a struggle to keep a healthy relationship with a negative person, but a lot of the success or failure in a relationship is based on our choices. Here are some steps you can take toward having a more positive relationship with a difficult person.

Regain your Control

It may sound odd, but you have a choice when it comes to what you allow to hurt you. For example, when someone attempts to put you down verbally you can ask yourself, "Am I going to allow this to hurt me or can I just brush it off". When someone targets you with negativity, they are testing how much control they can have over you and your emotions. Being your own source for confidence is key here. If their actions break you down than they have power over you, so regain your control by choosing to let it go and being the bigger person.

Set Boundaries

Everyone has limits. Make sure you make yours known as well as your expectations. Tell them exactly what you need from them and what you don't need. Nothing can change without good communication. Alot of times there is alot of talking between people, but not so much listening. Make sure you understand that persons limits and expectations as well. With everything laid out on the table there shouldn't be as many shortcomings on either persons part.

Pick Your Battles

A lot of times those people that bicker over the little things really have a bigger problem bothering them. If everything seems to end up playing out on a battlefield set some time aside to devote to breaking down the situation. Find out where the root of the argument originates from. Analyze whether or not your response in a situation is reasonable or over reactive. But if you are dealing with someone who is always trying to start a fight reflect before you react. Some battles are worth your time and energy but many are not, and many arguments take alot less energy when the goal is a compromise and not just being right.

Learn to forgive

Believe it or not forgiveness is more for the giver of it than the receiver. Forgiveness sometimes needs to be given even if the person that caused the hurt hasn't changed or apologized. This is for the sheer sake of the victims healing. Only when you learn to forgive can you learn how to move forward.

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