by Rudi Gannascoli

Created on: July 23, 2010   Last Updated: July 25, 2010

It is right there in psychology if you look hard enough, Love is the Feeling your the same. I feel this means in a virtuous way, the primary one being unselfishness. It is doesn't allow you to see the flaws. It is not perfect. But it makes you see someone as less selfish than they really are if they are more selfish. There are a hundred ways to be selfish and Love makes us miss a lot of them. For those of us who feel more happy being with a person as good as they are Love does make you more happy. I also think that it is hard not to be loving if you truly love. So it also diminishes the flaw you see in others. Intellectually only do you understand selfishness etc. So it kind of makes sense when they say better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Love is the opposite of Narcissism there, the Narcissist will routinely over value him or herself and devalue others. A selfish act. It gets real strange when a lover loves a narcissist. The narcissist sometimes sounds crazy but they are not capable of overvaluing someone for a long as a true lover can so the often can make good choices. The at some point if life forces the lover to stop looking at people through rose colored glasses it could be the lover who feel more crazy for truly having a distorted view. But not one particular unpleasant to the beloved. Witness the term I am crazy about him or her. Blind love is not infatuation. It is much more lasting. But not that common.  

It is also very difficult for other people to understand. They are often intelligent and kind people who are able to understand complex thinking and can make very intelligent decision often in the work place. But when it comes to people or someone or loved ones in particular they will say "I just didn't see it" And it isn't an intellectual game to them, their minds can and do get messed with when they have to deal with a whole new reality. Having to negotiate people now looking at them in a more accurate way can turn a trusting person into a confused and uncertain person who has to judge people rather than reacting in a more automatic way and they can and do become unfocused preoccupying themselves with having to measure people. 

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