by Michelle Semski

Created on: July 22, 2010

It is easy to find friends - they can start out as co-workers, people at church, a cashier at your favorite store, neighbor - anyone. They are people who just seem to be there and you enjoy crossing paths with. They become the people you that when you throw a big party you call them because you don't want to entertain an empty house. The problem is moving them into your closer circle and being able to call them a true friend. 

When I was in Kindergarten, I remember getting on the bus and sitting next to a girl that I noticed was reading a book about horses, one of my favorite subjects. Seeing this motivated me say, almost without thinking, "Will you be my best friend?" She said "Yes" and Karri and I were best friends for several years. We all know that making a true friend in the adult world is not that easy. Sure, if everyone out there were as pure and innocent as a Kindergarten student, the possibilities may be a bit higher.

In college, I developed strong true friends quite easily. However, if you put 1,000 young adults that move away from home into the confines of a dormitory, it just breeds close bonds between residents. One of my closest friends grew from the fact that we were always there on weekends. We were both out of state students, and never knew where the parties were at. She also had a relative pass away in the very beginning of the semester, me being a compassionate individual, felt compelled to talk to her and spend time with her.

One of the biggest parts of making someone a true friend is cultivating your relationship. You have to talk to them once in awhile and see them, and really know each other. You can't make it happen; the cultivating should happen naturally. True friends to me are those that you don't have to talk to all the time, but when you do talk you find that you are picking up right where you left off.

Today, after all of my close friends have found jobs and families in other parts of the country, I've truly realized how hard it is to make a true friend. Sure there are people I work with, but sometimes at 5 p.m., I just want to go home instead of hanging out with them. Then there are people from college that I know. However, they are stuck in the group where, I know they'll come to my party if I invite them, but if I need to vent about something, I don't feel comfortable talking to them about it. If I weren't able to call up my true friends, I would probably go insane. However, when I want to lay around and watch my favorite movie, it's only going to be me.

My advice, that I also need to heed, is be social. Go out with your friends, make new friends, do what you need to do. Most importantly, when one of these friends needs help, be there for them. If they need help moving, if they went through a break up, or just had a rough day, make sure to take time to talk to them and offer a shoulder to cry on, if need be. Then you may find that when you need someone, they will be there for you. This compassion and willingness to help another is what True Friends are founded on!

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