by Rosemary Redfern

Created on: July 20, 2010   Last Updated: July 22, 2010

Yes, I would allow my child to marry someone from another race.  This is about to happen with my granddaughter and a nicer partner she could not have found.  No one can predict who will fall in love with whom and no one has the right to dictate who their children can marry. There should be no impediment to marriage between a couple from different races. 

Societies who arrange marriages feel they have this right but this takes away the freedom to choose. Parents might advise, suggest, offer the idea of possible difficulties, but allowing does not come into it.  The choice is for the two people who make the decision. Marriages between individuals of different races have problems, in addition to, the ones couples from the same back ground have. This does not mean they cannot work. If the couple care enough about each other they will put in enough effort to make sure it works. 

Marriage is more than a contract between two people. It is a series of relationships with the children’s parents, siblings and wider family. The variations in the cultures that the couple grew up in will require some thought and adjustments for them and for their families.  However, if the family is a loving family who want the best for their members, they will do their best to be amenable and help to sort out any issues which arise. The initial idea may come as a shock to the parents but prejudice should not be an option here. Unfortunately prejudice can surface in a number of guises. 

Often the problems a couple from different races have, is not between them, but is caused by the interference of others. There are always those who feel they have the moral right to decide how other people should lead their lives.  The problem with someone like this is that they do not, and cannot, know the whole story.  The only ones who know the depth of feeling and commitment are the couple. 

While many of us look at married couples and wonder how on earth they got together, there are hidden strings to the marriage arrangement. Strings which are beyond vows and culture. If this was not so, divorce would not be such a painful affair. 

One of the good things that happens when children marry is that the family increases, with members the parent has not has the traumas of raising. Each new addition to the family through marriage brings something of themselves, their culture regardless of race, and their family traditions. All these things have to be assimilated into the family, just as one’s own child has to be assimilated into their partner’s family.  This brings a wealth of new input to enjoy. 

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