by Tracy Wilson

Created on: July 20, 2010

“Don’t do as I do, do as I say…” a phrase I would commonly hear as a youngster.  Said tongue in cheek, as parenting is not about verbally directing your children as much as physically taking your child by the hand and leading him along the correct path.

Raising optimistic children requires optimistic parenting.  Optimism, seeing the possible good outcome of a situation, seeing the benefits instead of the downfalls, believing in the goodness of mankind and the potential that life has to offer, is a mindset that children can learn from their parents, and truly, having such a mindset will set the child in good stead to enjoy life to its fullest.

Babies are born with no preconceptions of what is good or bad in life, but learn these attitudes from their caregivers and from the obstacles and opportunities that life presents them, and by constantly and gently exposing your child to new and exciting experiences, sights and sounds you are giving the child a well-rounded view of life and the what it can offer.

Optimism comes from feeling positive.  ‘Feeling’ being the operative word.  Help your child ‘feel’ good about themselves.  Praise them always when they have accomplished something new, or even attempted to try their hand at something they have never tried before.  Don’t put down your child because they haven’t reached the standards you expected, but praise them for reaching the standard they did.  With toddlers, avoid using praise such as ‘What a good girl’, as this infers that their ‘not trying’ means they are ‘bad’.  Use phrases such as ‘What a clever girl’, ‘How lovely it is when you are so polite, it makes me feel really proud of you’. 

Praise them, not only for new things they attempt, but also for acts of kindness and for behaviour that is pleasing.  If your child shows good manners, don’t let it slip through the net, but express your gratitude and let them know you appreciate them being kind, polite, gentle etc.  Try to praise your child as and when the good behaviour/attitude happens, so this can instantly boost their confidence.  Another technique is to spend time on an evening, discussion the new things that they have learnt that day and the behaviours that you were particularly pleased with.  Remember to not 'harp on about it' though, as being over the top will

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