by Carol H. Morgan

Created on: July 20, 2010   Last Updated: July 21, 2010

I recently delivered my fifth child the day after my thirty-ninth birthday.  Because the pregnancy (and now the sleepless nights) are harder on me than they were when I had my other four, all in my twenties, it has been helpful for me to take stock of the positive side.  There are aspects of this experience that are more of a blessing than it was to have children when I was younger.  

STABILITY

When we were twenty-five and first venturing into parenthood, we did so still at college.  I was careful not to get pregnant until my husband was nearing graduation and had the hope of secure employment, with all of the resulting benefits including insurance, but things were still risky.  The economy could have taken a dive and left us without nearly as good of a situation.  That has been one of the best aspects of parenthood later in life.  My husband has been secure in his job for fifteen years and is even enjoying two months of extra time off to help ease us back into the baby routine.

Also very nice has been the fact that we have older children.  It is very tough when you have a newborn and also toddlers or pre-schoolers competing for your time, attention and lap. Our other children are old enough that they are enjoying the new baby while not having her interfere with their lives and routines. 

EXPECTATIONS

When we were having our first few children, it seemed that every bump in the road led to worry and stress.  When the babies would cry at night for no apparent reason we would pace the floor and tear out our hair. Now those colicky nights are approached with a sense of humor.  We know that babies cry and that we will survive.  We also find it amusing that our first child, now in his teens, is still our most challenging, as he is still presenting us with new experiences.  The baby, however, is gratefully only asking us to revisit older ones.

GRATITUDE

Having a baby later in our reproductive lives has been a blessing because it wasn't a sure thing.  Therefore we appreciate it more than we did when we were twenty-five and took our baby-making capabilities for granted.  We know now that this baby might be our last and that we were lucky to have her at all, and so it the ability to have this experience is a great source of joy and gratitude. 

PERSPECTIVE

If we were any indication, younger parents seem to squeeze family into a very full life with many other priorities competing for their time caring for their children, and simply enjoying being parents.  We were very much concerned with planning for the future in other ways and maintaining other aspects of our lives, including professional activities and social calendars. Now we know what to put aside and what to keep in the center of it all.  Three sons and two daughters are an astounding amount of work but now that we have perspective on what we have achieved (in spite of what we have not), the additional perspective that age has brought us makes it clear what a great blessing it all is -  in any time of life.

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