by Amanda Roberts

Created on: July 19, 2010

Coming out. That's what it feels like when you announce that your significant other is of a different race. Unless others in your family have had interracial marriages before, you can feel like a pair of ostriches surrounded only by jay birds. So what can you to tell your family about the person you want to spend the rest of your life with in the easiest way possible?

1. Man (or Woman) up. This may seem like over-simplification, but the first and easiest step is to be true to yourself and your relationship. Take confidence in your choice in a mate and feel proud of all the accomplishments and personality traits that your significant other has. Carry a photo in your wallet, proudly wear jewelry they give you, and overall feel great about your other half. 

2. Share. Share information about your significant other. This is especially powerful when talking to people you don't have a strong attachment to. For example, when someone at your coffee shop compliments a piece of jewelry, happily reply that it was a gift from your significant other (insert name here). When coworkers ask you about your dating life, share positive details about your other half. Tell stories of trips you've taken or jokes that they tell, and just in general put out only positive thoughts about your other half. Being confident in what you tell others will help you feel confident yourself. 

3. Learn. Talk to your spouse-to-be and reflect on any cultural differences that may stick out to your family. Learn as much as you can about these practices, so that when your family asks about them, you can calming explain them instead of leaving the burden of explanation on your future spouse. Attend religious services with them, go to traditional meals with them, and in general learn as much as you can about them. Not only will this make you a more knowledgeable partner, but will give you the confidence to talk to your family.

4. Small Scale. If possible, meet non-threatening members of your partner's family (meeting a three year old cousin is less scary then meeting your future in-laws) and do the same with your own family. This allows you to "break in" the family without the pressure to preform that adults (especially parents) can put on you.

5. Build up. Speak with your parents and siblings before hand and tell them about your partner. If they have never met before, consider emailing a picture under some pretense (i.e. "Look at our vacation to the Bahamas!") so that they have some expectation

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