by Annette Hatton

Created on: July 18, 2010

“Why should I learn formal table manners?” you wonder. From business meals to an award banquet and from taking your sweetie to dinner at a restaurant to wedding dinners the reasons are many. There is a tremendous difference between fast food or school cafeteria dining and restaurants in general, even if the silverware is wrapped in a paper napkin. How you handle yourself at the table is a direct reflection of you and how you handle your business and personal life.

Star Trek’s Captain Kirk switched places with a barbarian in an alternate dimension and functioned admirably, but feared the havoc his counterpart might wreak aboard the Starship Enterprise. Upon return he was told the barbarian spent the entire time locked in the brig. When asked how Spock spotted the impostor, Spock replied, “We spotted his barbaric manners immediately and isolated him almost before he stepped off the transporter. It is easier for a well-mannered person to play the role of a barbarian than for a barbarian to pretend to be well mannered.

It is easier for a person schooled in proper table manners to do well in a fast-food setting than it is for the unschooled to act properly in a formal setting. You may be unaware how many business clients you alienate because you inhale your food almost before you open your napkin because you lack the fundamentals of good table manners.

For most of us the most formal dinner setting we will encounter is semi-formal. Your place setting will look something like this: a plate centered in front of you with a teaspoon or fork or both above it. This plate will be either empty or have a soup or salad on it. The silverware above is for your dessert.

Above and to the right of the plate is the stemware. Going left to right the first glass is for water, the second red wine and the third white wine. Silverware to the right of the plate includes a dinner knife, teaspoon and soupspoon.

Above and to the left of the plate is a bread and butter plate with a butter spreader across it. On the left are the dinner and salad forks. Placement of the napkin varies as does the types of silverware. Regardless how many or how varied the forks, knives or spoons are the rule of thumb is start with the outer most utensil and work your way toward your plate, using one or two utensils per course.

The very basic rules are:

1. Arrive at least fifteen minutes before the specified time. Never arrive late.

2. When eating: Eat to your left, drink to your right.

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