by Susan Gillihan

Created on: July 16, 2010

“Excuse me please, can you tell me where you keep the ‘up’?”,  I ask the store clerk, I’ve ran out of 'up'.  As I say those words, others look at me like I’ve lost my mind.  I tell him, truly there is no more up at my house and I've come here to look for some .  

I’ve looked around my house and all the ‘up’ is taken.  The entertainment center is no longer something that used to hold my pretty things, it has now become a catch all, my pretty things are put away.  I’m sure as my family goes through my stuff after I pass, all of my pretty things will be found again.

My counter tops no longer look arranged and neat, they are filled with things that really don’t belong there but cannot remain where they used to be.  The shelves which used to be organized with pretty and nice things are clustered with some pretty and nice things that are hidden by other things that aren’t so pretty and nice but cannot be where they used to be.

My the shelves on top of my cabinets are full of things that used to go on the counters, but had to go up so there was room on the counters for the stuff that belonged elsewhere.  Not only that, but I seem to be getting shorter.  I can no longer reach those things which were put up, and now are covered with dust and grime from lack of use.

The places that should contain some of the stuff has to remain empty.  Desk tops, table tops, coffee tables, and floors that all should be allowed to have some stuff on them, this is no longer allowed.

Did I mention I have a grandchild living in my home?  I don’t remember running out of up when I was raising his Mother, Aunts and Uncles.

Ah yes, the very reason that I no longer have any up.  My husband says “You need to put that ‘up’ to keep it away from him”.  I ask him, “Can you PLEASE build me some more up, I have run out”?  He then tells me “Get rid of some of your junk and you will have room to put stuff up”.  But I like my junk, I like all of my pretty things, my books and all of the things that make me who I am.

Do you think anyone would notice if I began hanging items from the ceiling with fishing line?  Fishing line is nearly invisible who would see it?  It could be handy, I would have ceiling lights if I hung the lamp up there.  Maybe the coffee table could hold some nice stuff if it was hanging from the ceiling. Most of the furniture could remain on the floor as long as is wasn’t within reach of the hanging items, for the child is quite adept at reaching.  

Maybe if I removed my paintings and pictures from the walls I could install hooks to hang items such as chairs that are movable.  This way he cannot move the chair to the kitchen and get into the stuff that is on the counter.  

I suppose I could yell and scream until I am blue in the face, yes, I am sure that won’t work.  It never did with his mother and her siblings, besides I want to be a Memaw, not a Mom again.  So for now, I will just keep looking for more ‘up‘.  Maybe the ‘up’ fairy will find me one day and bring me some more.

I want to be the Memaw with all the squishy stories of love and tenderness, it doesn’t look as though I will get them with this Grandchild. Instead I’m going to be the Memaw that has all the funny stories to tell him, when he grows ‘Up’.

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