by Patricia Ragan

Created on: July 15, 2010

I have a date Saturday night.  My friend says it's not a date. She says it's just a meal with friends.  She says this man just wants someone to "do stuff" with.  She says there are no strings attached.  She says I need to get out more.  She says...

Well, I say it is a date and I don't want to go.  I am a 50 year old working single mother.  I have been married twice.  I have three wonderful children with three different fathers (that is another story).  Two of my children are still at home.  I do not receive child support and I work as an RN to support them.  I am fiercely independent and take pride in my ability to provide for my children.

Apparently, this is not good enough for ANYONE who knows me.  I am constantly barraged with comments like "Oh, the right man has not come along," or, "Just give him a chance," or, You've just had bad experiences."  Hmmm. Possibly all these things are true.  But the fact remains, I am happy being single.  At least at this point in my life, the thought of living with a man is revolting.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being in the company of men.  I just don't want one in my house.  Bothering me.  Needing me.  Suffocating me.

Perhaps I have just had the "wrong" men.  Men who take and never give.  Men who are more work than they're worth.  To me, that just underscores my lack of desire to be saddled with another one.  Sometimes it's best to stop beating a dead horse, if you know what I mean.

So this is where I am right now.  Middle aged. Single.  And,  happy.  I DO NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP.  I do not want to go on dates.  I do not want a husband.  I want to be accepted as a woman who is comfortable with her aloneness, not loneliness.  And, I would really appreciate it if all my friends would accept that and stop trying to "fix" me.  I'm not broken!

Saturday night is just two days away.  Ugh.  What on earth am I going to wear?

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