by Dawn Lewis

Created on: July 15, 2010   Last Updated: July 17, 2010

As I was growing up I heard from my parents, my extended family, my teachers and many other adults in my life, that my choices and decisions would ultimately affect who I was.  To some degree that is true.  As kids growing up we spend so much time “rebelling” about the choices our parents made for us, that we worked to become our own person and yes, sometimes we can regret the choices and decisions we made. 

From my own experience I have several of these “aha” moments where I should have changed the decision or choice that I made and inevitably missed a golden opportunity.  I can’t tell you the how many sleepless nights I had wondering if I could somehow turn back the clock and re-make that fateful decision or taken an opportunity that was presented.  How much differently would my life have turned out?

Then, I look at how my life has already turned out and where I am currently headed, and I think that while these opportunities may have been missed, and while the decisions I made could have been different, would I really go back if I could and change the outcome?  Our lives are governed by the choices and decisions we make every day, and if we spend too much time revisiting the past or these choices, we don’t see the new opportunities and choices that are just around the corner.

I think someone I knew in my younger days summed it up best:  “we must look toward the future and as we are planning our journeys, we need to focus on a place on the horizon.  This focus will enable us to plow our rows straight and true, and we must avoid constantly looking back as this will result in rows or paths that are not heading us toward our final outcome.”  In other words, it doesn’t serve us well to dwell on the choices, decisions and missed opportunities that could have turned out differently, but rather focus on the good outcomes of the choices, decisions and opportunities we chose to take.  This focus on what we did, rather than what we did not, gives us the basis to continue to build our paths into the future.

Yes, I have choices and opportunities that weren’t probably in my best interest, but they made me who I am now and have given me an appreciation of where I am headed in the rest of my life.  My plan is simply to move forward and forget those choices that “should have” been different and not dwell on the opportunities I have missed.  What I have today is a gift and that gift came from the choices I made and opportunities I did take.  That is good enough for me.  Tomorrow will come soon enough and it’s another opportunity for me!

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