If I am not in church every Sunday can I still talk to God? Of course. If I do not go to church am I loyal to God? You can be. If I do go to church will that give me a ticket in to heaven no matter what I do? No one knows.

I don't think anyone has definite answers to any of these questions. I was raised Catholic and when I missed church it was a BIG DEAL. I am older now with a family of my own and I do not go to church every Sunday as I am supposed to. I still talk to God. I still pray. I still live in an ethical manner and attempt to live by the golden rule. If I don't have my children in church every Sunday will they still have the same thoughts? Yes. Children are taught by their parents and learn by watching their parents. My children go to a Catholic School and go to church every week. I go with them if I am off that day. We celebrate all holidays and participate accordingly. We say our prayers and our faith is alive in our home and in our teachings to our children.

Going to church every Sunday should give you something. You should not feel obligated to go just because that is the rule. If you are sitting there not listening to any of it...what are you taking home? What are you learning? If you go every Sunday and pay attention and can speak to your learnings, that is a reason to go. Church is not just service. There is money to be given and events to announce. We can read the bible ourselves and have more conversation with peers to learn more on a personal basis. Try asking people what they learned at church for the current week, no matter what religion, and see how many can actually speak to what they learned.

Do I sometimes feel I should be at church and have my children there with me? Yes. However, what I cannot figure out is this: do I feel I should be there because I was taught that was the rule, or is it because I think they will get something out of it? Do I get them in the habit of going now so that when they get older they are accustomed to going and can then bring home their learnings? It is definitely a challenge to get young children to be still and pay attention. Even when they are still, you are so busy watching them, you are not learning what you should. Then no one is learning. We cannot all pretend we have perfect children who go to church, sit still, and learn. It just is not always the case. Even when my children are great in church, which they usually are, what exactly am I teaching them?

You should not go to church and feel obligated to financially support everything for the church. There are many business parts of religion that can blur the teachings of the church. There are collections and donations and functions with raffles, etc. This is all fun and promotes a sense of community among church members, which, is important. Although, I do tend to wonder how much is enough? What is not enough? I should not feel like I am not giving enough and put my finances in a bind to "properly" support my church. Donations are needed, I do understand that, but to what extent?

Bottom line, religion and your own faith is what you make of it. Your own belief will keep your peace of mind and faith alive in your household. Your actions speak louder than anything. Pray with your kids, pray with your family, talk to God, get to know the biblical times and understand how it all began. Go to church for your own reasons and take home learnings. Church is not for appearances and social life. It is for religion and reflection. We should live life with morals and use the golden rule. Respect for God, each other, and religion is the ultimate way.

Learn more about this author, Denise Frederick.
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