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How BP Gulf disaster may have triggered a 'world-killing' event

by Charles Slavis

Created on: July 13, 2010

Doomsday With in Six Months-Methane in My Madness


Doomsday you say? With in six months the world might release a huge quantity of methane with the potential to wipe out 98% of the life on earth. No wonder BP is trying to keep a lid on it!  They are attempting to avoid a class action law suit from 98% of the life on earth. Already the surface of the earth under the sea has risen 50' high. Now BP has only to try to cap a shallow well. No wonder they waited so long! If they can stall until hurricane season is over, they will be plugging the leak on dry land.

Of course if the dome bursts, and the worst case scenario happens, then I'm staying home from work.......and I'm not even going to call off. Who cares if Lebron has gone to Miami. Go South Lebron! Go South!  And where is George Bush and Dick Chaney going to run to now?

So now the dome may be full of enough methane to destroy virtually all of the life on earth..........It wasn't me!........OK! May be just a little of it. Beer and pizza will do that occasionally. I just hope that the dome isn't every thing it's cracked up to be.

When the BP leak started, I attempted to future project everybody to the time when the leak would be plugged. I didn't realize how long it would take to accomplish the feat. There are just so many of you. I really haven't been dragging my feet. When BP announces that the leak is finally plugged, you will all say: "Damn! He really did it!

Unfortunately, a catastrophic methane eruption large enough to wipe out 98% of the life on earth is simply to large to project us all into the future. I am afraid that I will only be able to project myself and Lebron into the 2%. Not to worry, how ever! I promise to file the class action law suit for all of you. And if it fails to materialize and it is all a false alarm, then I will be the first to ask Lebron to come back to Ohio and talk about it. If it is not as bad as they say, perhaps he will have a change of heart. At any rate, if the worse case scenario does actually happen and you find that you are one of the lucky 2%, you are welcome to return to Ohio. Lebron and I will leave the light on for you.


Learn more about this author, Charles Slavis.
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